How to start dating for the unfancied nerd, Part 1

0Hazrul Azhar Jamari • 9th Jan 2008 • My Notes • dating, girls, guys, hotties, love, men, nerds, relationships, sex, women

This is the first of many installments of Mag’s Don Juan section, filled with dating and relationship advice for the unfancied nerd. We start with a series on basic dating for the unfancied nerd. I used to be unfancied once. I was a nerd. I wasn’t the kind of guy girls would date or would fall for.

Today, I’m 2nd (I was 1st last week) among my network of friends who thinks that I’m someone they’d marry. And I have a very gorgeous girlfriend, who gets hit on… often (blergh), who won’t leave me ever (back off guys! She’s mine! haha).

I came a long way to where I am now. I made a lot of mistakes. And I did a lot of social experiments just to find out the secrets of having wonderful dates, and long lasting relationships. And in Don Juan, you’ll learn about this too and avoid the mistakes, the pitfalls and the problems most of us unfancied losers face.

Now, I won’t promise you that you’d be able to pick up girls immediately or eventually turn into a sex god. But I can promise you that my tips will be helpful in your incredibly nearly non-existent love life.

We’ll start with basics.

Lesson Objectives

1. Understanding why you are not socially acceptable, date-wise
2. Creating a dating goal
3. Using social networks, blogs and online chats
4. Moving a foot soldier
5. Be a knight
6. Charm the queen
7. Rewind

1. Understanding why you are not socially acceptable, date-wise

The clothes make the man. A lot of guys who needs salvation usually tend not to dress too well. Maybe they look ok. But man, you have to look sharp. Only when you’re sharp, will you look easy on the eyes.

Step 1: Take a look of yourself in the mirror.

There you go. You’re a handsome man. But it’s really your sense of style that’s pulling you down. Use bright colors. No torn jeans. And some khaki pants will look fine too. Refrain from soccer jerseys. But rugby jerseys look hot. So try those for change if you want to maintain your athlete’s image.

Step 2: Take a shower!

Ever heard how animals find mates using smell? In human terms, that means he who scrubs most, gets most. If you smell good, she’ll find you irresistible.

Step 3: Gel your hair

Seriously, go gel your hair. Girls do not like unkempt men. So gel it up so you look good all the time. I recommend Gatsby’s Wet and Hard. Ok, that doesn’t sound very right… hehe… but at least it gets you into the mood!

Step 4: Pick nice shoes

Girls notice everything. You might think that they’re looking at your face, but trust me, your feet gets fair notice. So like every other part of your body, make it look good. Your feet deserve good treatment, so pamper it.

Step 5: Eau de Toillete

Don’t just smell nice. Smell great! Get a nice male scent. I like those by Adidas. I play rugby a lot, a sexy man’s game, and Adidas perfumes make all that sweaty scent go away.

2. Creating a dating goal

Ok now… you look hot! But you can’t just pick up girls like that. You need to figure out what exactly you want. There are many goals really… choose one

• I just want to bang chicks!
• I want to find true love
• I want to make as many friends as I can

Now, all these goals seem plausible. Seriously. But I wouldn’t choose any of them. No. Not even true love.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe in true love. But you don’t go up to a girl and want to marry her within the day.

Here’s the goal I gave myself… for the dating beginner.

“I want to go on dates, so that I can discover myself, and discover my partner”

Look, dating can be any of those other goals above. But if you want to really get the most out of it, you need to discover who you are, because once you realise what kind of person you are, you’d figure out what you want in a girl. Dating is also about your partner just as much as it is about yourself. It takes 2 here. That’s why I don’t go on a movie for a first date (after lots of social experiments, trust me. no movie date)

You need to communicate and engage with your partner, and therefore, you need to be able to articulate yourself.

3. Using social networks, blogs and online chats

If you were a dating sexpert, you’d be meeting girls every other day. But you’re not. So do what nerds do best. Use the Internet!

In my opinion, social networks are a time saver for the classic Don Juan. You get to narrow down your search to date the kind of girl you want to date. You see, there is a misconception with Don Juans such as myself. We don’t date every single girl that comes our way. We have our tastes. So start with someone who appeals to you and start to flirt.

But before we get to flirting, let me talk a bit more about this.

When you go online, please don’t have the mindset to find a date. Make sure if you go to your facebook, or your multiply, you’re going online to catch up with friends. If you find a face you’re attracted to, then good for you! Remember, the intention should always come first.

Let me keep you in suspense for a while before we carry on with this article. In Part 2 of this article, you’ll learn how to start flirting and beyond. For now, start with the basic 1-2-3.