and he turns a quarterlife

0Hazrul Azhar Jamari • 29th Nov 2007 • My Notes

today is my 25th birthday.

i’d like to thank my parents for making me.

and my sister, brother and sister.

i’d like to thank very remarkable people in my life particularly those whom i’ve lost touch, but have played an important role in my being.

namely…

nenek ngaji whom i’ve not seen for most of my quarterlife. but who had laid the foundations of my quranic schooling, for if not for her, i wouldn’t have been able to khatam the qur’an even though i do not fully comprehend its meaning or why we go through reading it for the sake of reading it. i thank you. and if you’re still alive, i hope you have many many long years to come.

my late paternal atuk, who i cuddled as a child and who doted on me albeit frugally. i love you.

my maternal nenek, whom i love to bits and pieces, for bringing me up a loved boy. the one person i look to for maternal love and care. i love you.

shahrudin sahari and rashid razif, my childhood friends who lived beside my block when we were young. though we may be world’s apart, and lead different lives, i value your companionship when we were class and color blind.

firdaus latiff who i considered a best friend throughout most of my primary school life. i looked up to him a lot and perhaps in some weird way, i still do.

mrs koh who thought highly of me and recommended my prefectship. and who basically laid the foundation for me for the opportunity to EM1. thank you very much for paying so much attention to me. and just so you know if you happen to read this. back then, i thought you were very pretty even for your age. in this decade’s context, i think you were hot.

miss rahel for being the best teacher any student could ask. your past was an inspiration. being of chinese parentage, but of a malay/muslim upbringing due to the war. your dedication to your work and your students led me to have faith in myself and my studies. you gave me the foundation for a bright future. but you did more than that. you also gave me the desire to achieve.

ustz tini for providing the spiritual guidance and islamic learning that helped me from becoming a sampah masyarakat. that gave me the zeal and strength to pursue life head on.

nurbaya for being the person i’ve admired for the past 12 years. that person who began this tkgs fetish of mine. that started me on this wondeful journey to find my soulmate who isn’t from tkgs btw, but carried that vibe. (she’s from tpjc with tkgs friends alllll around her so yeah). for still giving me that “heart skips a beat” feeling when i see her. and most of all… for being a wonderful friend… who despite knowing the feelings i had kept for so long, did not distance from me. i’m happy ur still around.

syah iskandar who had been the one person i trust building up syabab. he’s a sincere character. and i value his ideas and thoughts. and i owe it to him primarily for making syabab stand while i stressed myself making it a sustainable vehicle in social change.

faruq ariffin for seeing beyond the cliques and the politics and helping me out when it mattered to make syabab stand stall and united among its various cliques.

yazid eunos for being the glue that held syabab together during his term.

azliyadi for continuing to serve despite our differences and being sincere with the cause.

ridwan for coming back to the mosque and bring back syabab to its glory days, but most importantly, bringing back the programs which we started when we were there ensuring that all our past work did not go to waste.

nazeemah abbas for being there when we were in poly. you are a great friend and it’s sad to grow apart.

shahida for her love. and made me realise that one time i had the girl of my dreams, or at least i thought it was, but it was close enough. most importantly, teaching me about faith and perseverence and loyalty.

ernie kusuma for her companionship and love while we were close 3 years ago. you made me see beauty that is beyond skin deep even though that you are probably the hottest person i know personally today.

ruhana for not hurting me when she found out i really really liked her and still went to meet me allowing me the chance to at the very least see her even though she’s now very very distant from me today.

abidah for giving me a wisp of what i actually really wanted and being with you even though our relationship was shortlived and somewhat disillusioned. thank you very much for teaching me to main layang-layang.

zeenath for being so accessible and easy to talk to. in my adult life, you’re the one person who had always been there for me.

crystal for being my bestest friend in the past 2 years of my life. whom i care a lot for and who’s advice and wisdom i heed. and who’s opinion i yearn as well as fear.

siti for trying. i hurt you. and i shan’t elaborate. but thank you very much for having faith in me when the odds were stacked against me.

hetty for urm… reconnecting me with my intimate desires but we know that this will never happen again.

and last but not least… nad… my soulmate. the one i love truly, madly deeply. who consumes my every thought and my very existence. whom without, i feel lost. and whom with, i feel safe. the only person who doesn’t escape my thoughts. the only person who surely loves me as much as i love her or maybe even more. you… you inspire me. my now and my future. and you’ll always be the only person that matters the most to me. who’s word counts more than many. and who’s thoughts mean more than others. i love you. alot… alot… alot…

with that… i’d like to add that if you were not mentioned, don’t be hurt. i’m sure you played an important role in my life. good or bad. if bad, well… while i don’t value your role in my life, your act to me left me stronger. and if good, your act is not little or insignificant, but it’s not possible to list everyone that did me good. (seriously, the list would be too long), just know that you mattered.

happy birthday to me.